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‘Money Can Make You Happy’: How My Wife and I Are Choosing to Give Our Wealth Away

If you asked folks on the street, most would probably say money can’t buy happiness. And sure, it’s not the whole story. But after years working in finance, building up savings, and realizing we don’t have any heirs, my wife and I found ourselves asking: what’s the point of having money if it just sits and collects dust on a balance sheet?

I’ve worked with all kinds of people—engineers, teachers, small business owners—who hit their 60s or 70s with plenty saved but no clear idea what to do next. That “legacy” stage is tricky. No spreadsheet can capture how heavy it feels to decide what your money should do after you’re gone.

For us, the question really hit home after a health scare a few years back. When you’re lying in a hospital bed, net worth doesn’t cross your mind. What matters is the impact you’re leaving behind. That’s when we started diving into philanthropy, donor-advised funds, and direct giving.

The Unexpected Joy of Giving

I won’t sugarcoat it — parting with money is tough, even when you have enough. There’s always that little voice asking, “What if we need it later?” But after our first year of giving with intention, something changed. It turns out, giving really does bring happiness.

We began by supporting a local food pantry and a STEM program for kids. The response was immediate and real—thank-you notes, photos, stories of lives touched. That felt way more meaningful than any tiny bump in investment returns.

Honestly, I’ve seen people clutch their investments so tightly they miss out on this joy. Harvard studies back it up: spending on others often makes you happier than spending on yourself. I can tell you, from personal experience, it’s true.

Why We Chose to Give Now, Not Later

We thought about the usual route—leaving a big chunk in our wills. But delaying giving didn’t sit right with us. Charities need resources today, not decades down the road. Plus, we wanted to see the difference our money could make. That’s not selfish—it’s human.

Donor-advised funds, or DAFs, turned out to be a great fit. They let us donate appreciated stocks without tax headaches, choose where the money goes, and stay involved with the process. They sound complicated, but honestly, opening one takes just a few hours.

We also do direct giving—writing checks to individuals or small groups with specific needs. Sometimes the money doesn’t stretch far or isn’t used perfectly, but the personal connection we get from it is worth it.

When Giving Isn’t So Simple

Of course, this approach isn’t for everyone. If you’re still building your savings, it’s risky to give large sums away. I’ve seen retirees overestimate their ability to give and then get hit with unexpected medical bills or market drops. The rule of thumb: make sure you’re secure before you start giving big.

Also, not all charities are created equal. Some spend too much on admin, others aren’t transparent about how funds are used. We’ve had to pull back from groups that didn’t deliver. Doing your homework is key—Charity Navigator and similar sites can be lifesavers when vetting organizations.

Don’t Let Taxes Drive Your Giving

Yes, there are tax perks. Donating appreciated assets can save you capital gains taxes, and you get deductions if you itemize. But to me, the tax benefit should be a bonus, not the main reason to give. The real reward is knowing your money is making a difference, not just sitting in an account.

If you’re still working, workplace giving programs can help ease you into it. For retirees, qualified charitable distributions (QCDs) from IRAs are a smart move—they help meet required minimum distributions and support causes you care about.

Legacy Beyond Family

I’ve noticed people without kids often feel pressure to leave money to distant relatives just because it’s “what you do.” We took a different path. Our legacy is about values—supporting education, fighting hunger, protecting the environment.

We’ve also gotten creative—volunteering, mentoring, even helping start a scholarship at our alma mater. Money is just one part of legacy. Your time and knowledge can make a huge impact too.

How Giving Can Spark a Community

One surprising thing? Giving can be contagious. Once we started sharing our plans with friends, some got inspired. Couples joined us in funding projects, or started their own giving circles. It’s a ripple effect that feels really rewarding.

Not everyone is comfortable talking about giving. Some worry it makes them look like they’re bragging. The key? Be humble and open. Share why you give, not just what you’ve done.

The Power of Giving While You’re Here

There’s a saying in philanthropy: “give while living.” For us, it’s been the right call. Seeing the impact in real-time, building relationships with people and organizations, knowing you’ve made a difference—there’s no substitute for that feeling.

Plus, it’s flexible. If markets dip or unexpected expenses pop up, you can pause. If things go well, you can give more. It’s a living, breathing approach to generosity.

Wrapping It Up

At the end of the day, money is just a tool. For us, it became a way to connect with what really matters. It wasn’t always easy, and it took time to figure out. But giving our wealth away while we’re still around has made us happier and, honestly, more confident about our legacy than any estate plan ever could.

This path isn’t for everyone. If you have dependents or uncertain finances, be cautious. And remember, giving isn’t always smooth—sometimes it’s frustrating or disappointing.

But if you’re in a position to think about it, giving while living is worth exploring. I’ve seen it change not only the lives of those who receive, but also those who give. And to me, that’s money truly well spent.

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